Navigating Life With Chronic Pain
“Libby, one day you’ll need back surgery again.”
- An excerpt from The People In My House - Libby Earle Henry and Mark Hubley
That day came in 2007, ten years after my last spinal fusion while on a one-year anniversary trip to California. Walking on a treadmill, I felt a familiar jolt in my back. Unrelenting back spasms ruined the rest of the trip. Back home it was revealed that pressure from the spinal fusion I had in my twenties had worn out discs above and below the affected disc. It required more surgery and it was complicated. It took four years to receive the surgery I needed, and I had to go to New York as surgeons in Kentucky were unwilling to attempt such a risky procedure. My primary physician told me fear of litigation led surgeons to turn me away.
Searching online, I stumbled upon Dr. Fabian Bitan, a world-renowned French surgeon practicing in New York City. Never thinking I would get a response, I sent copies of my MRIs anyway. To my surprise Dr. Bitan called me personally and offered to help. The benevolent doctor performed two surgeries at no cost to me after hearing my situation which was that I had no money, and my daughter and I were getting evicted from our home. Unfortunately, I would need five additional surgeries. Dr. Bitan recommended a colleague in Louisville that I never knew existed, Dr. Majd. Dr. Majd turned out to be one of the kindest doctors I’ve ever met. Over the next seven years, this doctor performed five surgeries on my deteriorating back.
Dr. Bitan and I five years later in New York City.
Much of that time was dark and blurry and I naively thought I could rebound as quickly as I had in my twenties. Not only did I not rebound quickly, multiple surgeries and chronic pain sidelined me. Pain ruled my life and depression was setting in because I couldn’t be the mother I wanted to be. Adding to an already stressful situation was that I looked fine. But I wasn’t. Pain is invisible. People can’t see it like a cast or a bandage. When you look fine on the outside it’s hard for people to understand what you’re going through unless they’ve been there. I didn’t know anyone who had “been there,” and was losing hope.
After weeks of self-pity, I began searching the internet for chronic pain support groups. I didn’t really want to go, but no one around me could relate, and the isolation was becoming unbearable. Eventually, I found a chronic pain support group at a nearby church. Everyone was older than me except one guy, who was probably in his early twenties. He had been through brain surgery which left him with extreme pain. He shared that on one of his “rare” good days, he played frisbee with his friends only to pay after for exerting himself. I could relate. That’s the thing about chronic pain, when you have a good day, you want to squeeze every last minute out of it because tomorrow is uncertain.
In the group I listened as others shared their stories. Some talked of their chronic pain destroying relationships. One lady, Helen, shared a story about a vacation with her husband. They traveled to Boston and her husband wanted to take in a Red Sox game while they were there. Unable to sit through nine innings of the game, she told her husband she would have to leave. Her husband became angry. Very angry. “Three days later my husband announced he was filing for divorce, stating he no longer wanted to curtail his life to accommodate me. We were married eighteen years and now I am married to my pain.” Helen said, her voice shaking. After hearing Helen’s depressing story, I thought about not returning to the group, but she added “despite everything, I still have hope.” Well, I thought, if she still has hope then I could give the group another chance.
On my second visit to the group, a man named Tom shared that his biggest accomplishment for the year was dressing himself, though sometimes he couldn’t even do that. He admitted contemplating suicide. Interestingly, he claimed his chronic back pain was significantly reduced by horse therapy. I was intrigued. Apparently, a physical therapist, whose friend had therapy horses, suggested he try it. The therapist told Tom that hippotherapy, as it is called, entails the oscillation of horse’s movement that can improve core strength, thereby reducing back pain. I know this to be true because I have ridden a horse and understood the movement. According to Jason Cornett, a horseman and owner of the Circle C Ranch in Lagrange, Kentucky, “The walking of a quarter horse provides lubrication for the lumbar spine.” Tom, desperate for relief had been on a few trail rides in the past, gave it whirl. He said it not only helped him physically but also mentally as his depression was at a tipping point. He went on to say it was nice to ride something other than his sofa. Tom had a sense of humor.
Cirlce Bar C Ranch, Lagrange Kentucky.
Ultimately the group gave me a new perspective. It’s been nine years since I have attended the group regularly, not because I’m pain free, but am considerably better, both physically and emotionally. I finally have a job after twelve years of struggle. That never would have happened if it not for the help of a benevolent doctor, some incredible physical therapists, knowledgeable fitness instructors, and of course, what I gained from the support group.
Since the publication of The People In My House, many have asked me how I manage my back pain. My day starts using a foam roller. It has proved to be extremely helpful and it’s easy to throw in a car for a road trip. You can pick one up at any Target, TJ Maxx, Walmart, or find them online. Many come with a video on various ways to use the roller, but if yours doesn’t, there are many how-to videos online. Additionally, I alternate between low impact cardio, classes that incorporate weights with cardio, Pilates, (great to build core strength which is paramount for back pain sufferers), Barre class, and my most favorite form of exercise, walking in the park. The simple act of walking outside releases endorphins and believe me those “feel-good” hormones can be essentail for treating pain and depression. And of course, s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g. You must stretch!
A soft foam roller is perfect for beginners and can be used by almost anyone since it’s the most gentle of them all. Grid foam rollers should be used if you’re experienced with foam rolling and are ready for plenty of hurts-so-good pain.
Lastly, I live by the quote that we’ve all heard in one form or fashion, "If You Rest, You Rust.” Below is a list of providers I’ve used in Louisville, Kentucky, with the exception of Dr. Fabien Bitan, who is located in New York City and practices at Lennox Hill Hospital.
Dr. Fabien Bitan
Manhattan Orthopedic Spine PLLC
215 East 77th Street
New York, NY 10075
(212) 717-7463
Dunn Physical Therapy
4040 Dutchmans Lane
Louisville, KY 40207
(502) 899-9363
Baptist Health Milstone Wellness Center
750 Cypress Station Drive
Louisville, KY 40207
(502) 896-3900
Circle Bar C Ranch - Dr. Jason Cornett
1424 Bluegrass Pkwy
LaGrange, KY 40031
(502) 322-4861
Chronic Pain Support Group:
Southeast Christian Church
920 Blankenbaker Pkwy.
Louisville, KY 40243
(502) 253-8000
Dr. Majd has retired.